5 Steps to Help You Handle Triggers
I got upset the other day. Sure, I was tired recovering from being sick, but the truth is, I let my past dictate my present experience. I’m on a path to live my life in a way that is loving, joyful and peaceful. I strive to think and behave in a way that is impervious to outside circumstances. Now that’s a lofty goal, right! I realize that this is a daily practice. It is about the journey and in fact there is no destination.
If we are here to grow and evolve, then our lives will experience many cycles. Just as the fires storm through the forest destroying and cultivating new growth, so do our lives have small deaths and rebirth. Our desires change, relationships come and go, and we get to choose how we interpret and interact all of it. We are the meaning makers of our life.
People will come into our lives that will do things that bother us and people we may disagree with. It could be something small like the way they wear their hair or clothes, or it could be that they lie or brag. We all get triggered differently because triggers reflect something within us, something from our individual experiences. I love to look at triggers as messengers. A trigger tells us where we have unmet needs or false beliefs. This is where the power of the mind can help behaviors and more desired outcomes. Instead of being annoyed, shift your mindset towards curiosity. Here are a few tips to guide you through a process of responding rather than reacting. If you want to feel in control of what you do and say when triggered, these steps may be helpful.
Become aware that you are being triggered. Start to notice the first signs of upset, perhaps you begin getting warm, your heart races or you have obsessive thoughts.
Take a pause, and a breath, and lean away from the situation. This will give your feelings time and space to be and to eventually flow through you in a way that is not explosive.
Ask yourself why this is bothering you so much. Be vulnerable and truthful with yourself. Notice if you are bringing your past into this moment or maybe you have an underlying false belief about this situation. Question your thoughts, with gentle curiosity.
Reframe the circumstance. Are there other possible reasons this could have occurred other than what you are thinking? What are you learning about yourself? Can you make a positive statement or at least a statement that is neutral, not negative about this situation?
Be nurturing and compassionate with yourself. Breath and begin to let the feelings of upset pass through you. Continue to be mindful of how you are thinking and feeling without judging yourself.
Remember it’s a practice. This is the journey. Understanding ourselves more deeply helps us be the best for others too. Reframing triggers to be seen as messengers, gives me an opportunity to surrender, to inquire and to discover. Happy journeying!
Love, Light and Laughs…Jen